A state cannot so deem a class of persons a stranger to its laws.
Supreme Court Justice Anthony M. Kennedy
(Romer v. Evans)

It's time I dusted off this blog, and what better reason than tommorow's State Senate vote on Marraige Equality in New Jersey.

Everyone deserves to marry the person they love. It's that simple. I stole the following action list from Sharon:

1. Call your State Senators and tell them to do what's right. (When following that link, click the "state" tab.) If you already know who your Senator is, go here for contact information.
2. Email your Senator. It can't hurt to do both.
3. Go to Trenton tomorrow. Garden State Equality has info here.

This is our best opportunity. Let's not squander it.

Fourteen

And so today, my world it smiles, your hand in mine, we walk the miles.
Led Zeppelin

For those who don't know, I met Sharon at a party she was hosting. (Yeah, she was throwing a party - no surprise there.) Anyway, I remember at some point leaning against the dining room hutch only to discover it wasn't secured to the base. The china laden cabinet slid several inches but did not fall. A few more inches and it's a good bet I would not be writing about our fourteenth wedding anniversary.

When I look back on that moment, I still shudder to think how close I came to missing the best thing that ever happened to me. Here's to fourteen great years and many more than that yet to come.

This one goes to eleven

And so today, my world it smiles,
Your hand in mine, we walk the miles,
Thanks to you it will be done,
For you to me are the only one.
Thank you
Led Zeppelin

The quote was as far as I got on this post before going to bed on the morning of our eleventh wedding anniversary. The day itself was not what we planned, I'll tell that story next. Meanwhile....

Early in the morning of January 1st, 1993, her annual New Years party was winding down (it was still hers, not ours). Sharon and I were talking about what you always talk about at New Years: resoutions. I knew what I was hoping for, but I wasn't sure where Sharon stood and didn't want to push. I was still recovering from a crash that almost totalled my car and me with it. (For the record, it was my fault, the result of me being an idiot). I asked Sharon what she wanted. She answered with a question, "So, are you going to marry me, you son of a bitch, or what?" So okay, I guess I didn't have to worry about pushing....

Two months later we'd found an apartment and were all set to move in. The night before we moved in, I told Sharon that I was going to wait to ask her until we actually moved in. "Oh, you can wait if you want," she said. I didn't wait. She said yes. Two days shy of a year later, we were married. When we were down the aisle and in the narthex, I turned to her and she grabbed me. We held each other for what felt like forever, cliches be damned. A day later we were on a train to New Orleans. Ah, New Orleans. Someday we'll return.

And now it's been eleven years. Back then we had an apartment and a cat. Now we have a house, three cats, two dogs, and the two most wonderful girls on this earth. I remember once when we were arguing and fuming about something (probably me being an idiot again). At some point, Sharon started telling me about something that had been on her mind. It had nothing to do with the argument, whatever that was. What I remember is this: it was the kind of thing she needed to tell her best friend about, but she couldn't, because we weren't talking.

That is what Sharon and I have. I don't mean the stupid arguments, though we have our share. Someone once told Sharon that she didn't need her spouse to be her best friend. Parent, partner, stable, etc., those were the things this person was looking for. That's not Sharon and I. She is the one I turn to with a problem. She's the one that gives me support and encouragement, and I hope I do in return.

So, here's to year twelve. And thirteen. And fourteen. And twenty-five. And fifty. And so on....

Anniversary day

I'm sorry we couldn't spend the day thinking about how much we love each other, instead of trying like crazy not to vomit.
Sharon

For our anniversary we had front row tickets to Democracy, dinner reservations for the Firebird Restaurant, and plans for a stop to see The Gates.

The morning of our anniversary started out when I hear my one of my kids crying in her room. Sometimes this happens when she has a bad dream. Unfortunately, this time it was because she had wet the bed.

I got her all cleaned up. While we were downstairs loading her sheets and blankets into the washer, I heard activity upstairs. I figured it was her older sister, so I headed upstairs. She was in our room throwing up.

It turned out that whatever she had hit my wife also. Several drugs later, we decided we should give it a go. My mom was staying with the girls. She's a retired pediatcric nurse, so she was fine with my sick daughter. My wife and I headed to the station to catch the train. She spent the trip alternately fighting nausea and dosing off. We got a little soup before the play, a relatively safe lunch.

The play was excellent. I recommend it to anyone who has the chance.

We left the theatre started uptown towards Central Park. After a block, my wife said, "Let's just go home." That was a good idea. We turned back and walked down to Penn Station. When we got there, we immediately saw the "All Aboard" call on the board for a Trenton bound train. We rushed to the platform, which was empty. Back upstairs, we now saw the "All aboard" for a different gate. More running, this time to watch the train pull out. Apparently they were having a little trouble updating the screens. The next train wasn't for another 45 mintues, so we headed for the waiting area.

That was when it hit me. By the time we boarded the train, I was feeling mightly low. Someone had a hot dog with saurkraut on the train. That was more than I could take. I spent the ride home in the vestibule between cars trying desparately not to get sick. I sang Green Day to myself as a distraction (still my favorite). By the time we got home I had a fever and chills.

So, not the romantic Saturday in the city we hoped for. Oh well. We both know there are plenty of next years to make up for it.