08 October 2005

There is no "Joy"

    But what part is the joy?
      My oldest

This morning we were discussing candy, as Halloween is approaching and there will be a large influx. My daughter asked this question about Almond Joy.

Good question. The answer? There is none. Almond Joy sucks. It's the second worst candy bar in the world. I mean, come on, what does it have to offer? Aside from the almond, what does it have? A thin layer of chocolate that is sub-par at best. Under that, a big glob of shredded coconut whose consistency makes you wonder if you're supposed to eat it or put it between your cheek and gum like chaw. Bleah!

Who on earth came up with that? The only good thing is the almond, which is why it's the second worst candy bar. The same culinary sado-masochists who came up with Almond Joy also created Mounds, a candy bar devoid of any redeeming quality at all.

6 comments:

Sharon GR said...

Almond Joy does NOT suck. Ok, so it's no Butterfinger or Resse's Peanut Butter Cup, but it still has almonds. Almonds redeem anything.

Fruit Twistables are the worst candy ever. Really, Worst. Candy. Ever.

Jeri said...

Sorry, worst candy ever would be a tie between circus peanuts and Necco Wafers.

I like AJ's and Mounds, because coconut can redeem anything. Heck, I'd eat a coconut-flavored Necco wafer

Rob S. said...

Having shared a bag of circus peanuts with a friend while waiting for another friend to show up and open her shore house, I have to echo the circus peanuts nomination. Man oh man, if I never see another circus peanut in real life, I can always fall back on my nightmares.

Kathy votes for Mounds and Almond Joy, though. Even the chocolate doesn't redeem them, she says. Which sounds pretty serious, if you ask me.

PapaGoose said...

PEEPS! Marshmallow Fucking Peeps are the worst candy ever. It's like dropping a wad of caulk on the beach and then picking it up and eating it.

Jeri said...

I want to be at a Halloween party with Andrew and Kathy, so I can hoard all the Almond Joys and Mounds.

I just realized I still have two Fruit Twistables in my pantry. One Sunday several months ago the newspaper included three of them as a freebie. It was like chewing sugar-flavored snot.

If you haven't seen this study on Peeps, check it out. Very satisfying for the Peep-loathers among us.

Dave said...

Another thumbs up for Almond Joy and all things coconut.

I also echo the sentiments about circus peanuts and Peeps. Hell, Peeps are made just across town in Bethlehem and I still have no local pride for 'em. Just Born does donate a lot of candy around this time of year, though.

Here's a candy vote some of you might not recognize: Chik-O-Stix. Sort of like naked Butterfingers. Mmmmmmm...