15 November 2007

Atari, Adventure, and when to ignore your boss

    Somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!
      Strong Bad

Last week Brenda Tremblay reported that the Atari 2600 game console was inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame. As a "Nationally Ranked Kaboom Champion," she was pulling for the Atari. It was my first choice as well, but not because of Kaboom. My preferred game is Adventure.

I love Adventure. I played it constantly, searching for and recovering the Chalice too many times to count. To this day I know my way around the various castles, rooms, mazes, and catacombs. I never cared that the dragons looked more like ducks and the sword was just an arrow. It was fun and addictive.

The game was created by Warren Robinett, and it is groundbreaking in many ways. Game elements we take for granted now, like a multi-screen world and objects you can pick up, were unprecedented back then. It is also the first example of truly autonomous entities moving throughout the game on their own, regardless of what you are doing. Left unattended, the bat will fly through the game moving stuff around forever. That Robinett could fit this on 4096 bytes of ROM and run it with only 128 bytes of RAM is a programming achievement in and of itself. (To put it in perspective, that's about 0.0004% of what the cheapest Dell comes with by default.)

There is great story behind its inception. Here's how Robinett tells it in one of several interviews:

I started in May 1978 and worked like a madman for a month. My boss, George Simcock, heard what I was working on and didn't think I could do it within the 2600 resources and told me not to do it. However I ignored him and had a prototype with screen to screen movement and dragons chasing you after a month of hacking.

There is another great story that lead to what is considered the first "easter egg." Although each game was typically written by one person, Atari did not give the creator any credit. Robinett decided he wanted to sign his work, so he found a way to sneak his signature in. He added a hidden object to the game, a 1x1 pixel dot that gives the player access to a secret room. In the room is the following text: "Created by Warren Robinett." This remained a secret long after the game's release. By the time Atari found out what he did, it was too late to change the game and he had already quit.

I have an original Atari 2600 "heavy sixer" with the six switches on the front, but the last time I tried it didn't work. Maybe I should get it out and see if I can get it working again. Then I'll be back searching once more for the elusive Chalice.

13 November 2007

Piping hot!

    If it's not Scottish, it's crap!
      Mike Myers

They're the Red Hot Chilli Pipers. No, that's not a typo, and yes, they're Scots. Check them out:

They gave an impromptu performance in the crowd on the Today Show this morning. I just had to google them.

12 November 2007

You can bet on it

    Well, I lost five thousand dollars in Rock Scissors Paper last weekend.
      Phil Gordon

When you're in a place like Vegas with a group, you go out and do stuff. You gamble, go drinking, go to clubs, etc. When you're by yourself, well, not so much. Getting drunk with a bunch of friends in a bar is a blast. Doing it by yourself is sad and somewhat pathetic. So, when I was in Vegas, I mostly just walked around. I might end up chatting with a fellow conference attendee who happened to be eating at the same restaurant, but that was it. I spent the rest of my time walking around the casinos and hotels sightseeing.

One thing I was amazed by was the volume and variety of gambling options. I knew Vegas offers almost limitless gambling options, but I was still unprepared for the scope and scale as seen firsthand. I was once in the AT&T Global Network Operations Center. It had a huge wall lined with screens showing the status of networks and servers all over the globe. It had nothing on the sports betting room in every casino I saw. They were bigger, had more screens, and were more impressive. I stood looking at those walls unable to comprehend all the numbers and stats, each of which represented a bet someone could place. People will bet on anything.

Which brings me to an episode of This American Life I heard back in September, though it was originally broadcast in 2001. Meet the Pros does just that, including professional gamblers in Act Two, where Phil Gordon explains how Rock Scissors Paper is in essence the same as Texas Hold 'Em. Check it out, it's a good one.

Scary scarcity

    perfect storm (noun) : a critical or disastrous situation created by a powerful concurrence of factors
      Merriam-Webster

As friends and family have reported, there is a shortage of beer ingredients.

This report has been re-posted around the web, and details the causes of the hop shortage. Here's the bottom line:

Certain varieties are getting a lot more expensive. A few varieties will run out faster than ever. Brewers have to be willing to try other varieties. Brewmasters, brewery owners, and marketing and sales managers must prepare for the potential need to substitute different hops, to replace varieties that currently give your beers their "signature" flavor. That's what we'll have to get used to, the fact that there may be slight flavor variations over the next several years, as the hop industry works to correct this situation.

As if that is not bad enough, this article notes that hops are not the only ingredient that is in short supply:

Barley prices, and those of wheat, also used in some beer, have hit all-time highs, said Mary Palmer Sullivan, program director for the Washington Grain Alliance in Spokane.

The barley shortage is due in part to drought, and also to the rise in demand for corn-based biofuels, as this NPR story notes. We may have seen the high water mark for barley, though, as prices seem to be declining somewhat.

No such luck for hops, however. As the hop supply report notes:

It's not going to get better soon, but will be likely just as bad, or worse, for the crops from 2008 and 2009, in other words, for beers brewed from now through 2010.

This was confirmed at our local homebrew supply shop, where hop prices jumped and availabilty is limited. So drink those hoppy beers while there's still time.

09 November 2007

Adios Vegas

    Viva Las Vegas turnin' day into nighttime
    Turnin' night into daytime
    If you see it once
    You'll never be the same again
      "Viva Las Vegas"
      (words and music by Doc Pomus and Mort Shuman)

I just finished stuffing all my stuff into my bags. I fly out tomorrow at 12:15.

Tonight was the Latin Grammy Awards at the Mandalay Bay. When the conference let out, it basically dumped this mass of geeks into the crowds watching the stars arrive. We departed to cheers, but not for us. It was kind of funny.

I had some time so I took the monorail around to see what there was to see. I finished up a the Bellagio fountains, which are truly cool. I came in late to the first show, which had ballet music, so I waited for the next one. The next show's music was "Viva Las Vegas." There's my send-off.

Here two quick parting photos: me in the mirror of the Bally's escalator, and the best slot machine name I've seen all week.

08 November 2007

Out damned Carrot Top!

    I can't go to work this morning, you know it haunts me. It haunts me!
      Neo Pseudo

I am staying at Luxor, and Carrot Top is everywhere! He's on signs by the elevator. He's on walls in the casino. He's on the little TV screen in the tram. He's on the big TV screen in the lobby. He's on my Do Not Disturb sign. He's on my room key! Everywhere I look I see that face.


Sometimes, I see him with my eyes closed....

07 November 2007

Vegas

    Life springs eternal on a gaudy neon street.
      Sheryl Crow

So I'm in Vegas, defying Luxor their $13 a night by using my phone for internet access. I'm here for a the DevConnections conference at Mandalay Bay. I'm not staying at the Mandalay Bay, I'm next door in Luxor because the Mandalay Bay was booked. (How many times can I type Mandalay bay?) Many people are even further away in MGM Grand.

I've been sending photo dispatches home. Here are some highlights:

The Sphinx at Luxor and a headless Lenin statue in Mandalay Bay:

The roller coaster at New York New York and some guy sitting with live lions at MGM Grand:


By the way, the coaster is way cool. I had some time to took around on Monday and see all this. Today was more conference stuff - all day in fact. But I did get free food that should offset the awesome sushi at Jpop Sushi at (one more time) Mandalay Bay.

Oh yeah, here is the really big tub in my room:

For some reason my youngest wondered if I sing in it.

No, not yet. But there's still time.

02 November 2007

Nice work

    This ain't no disco
    It ain't no country club either
    This is LA!
      Sheryl Crow

This is funny:

You may notice a familiar face....

You've still got mail

    Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
      Johnny Carson

It would seem I haven't been checking my office mailbox as often as I should. I learned this yesterday when its contents were brought to my office. Amongst the junk mail was this:


Yes, the date in the picture is accurate. No, the card did not arrive extra early. I haven't checked my mailbox in almost a year.

01 November 2007

On the passing of Richard Jewell

    All I did was my job. I did what I was trained to do.
      Richard Jewell
      23 July 2006

Ten years later, Richard Jewell remained reluctant to take credit for the lives he undoubtedly saved when he spotted an unattended backpack that contained a bomb. He was more worried about how the ensuing investigation affected his mother than himself. His complaint about the intense media focus on him was that it detracted from coverage athletes who dedicated their lives to competing for their homeland in the Olympics. His only regret was there were not five more minutes in which the life of victim Alice Hawthorne might have been saved.

In the months and years that followed the Atlanta Olympics bombing, Richard Jewell wasn't in in the news very much. I thought we might hear about him when Eric Rudolf was identified as the the bomber in 2005. I posted what little I found in these two posts. In July 2006, the ten year anniversary of the bombing did prompt several stories and the AP interview I've linked to. Finally, in August 2006, Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue presented Jewell with a commendation for his actions that day. "He didn't seek this today," the Governor said, "we sought him out because I think it’s the right thing to do." It was, and it was ten years overdue.

Richard Jewell died in August. I was on vacation, and I missed the stories in the news. I first heard about it from a comment on one of my 2005 posts. News reports of his passing came with headlines like: Vindicated Olympic Park bombing suspect Richard Jewell dies (CNN) and Olympics bombing figure Richard Jewell dies (AP). Jewell said in the AP interview, "I dare say more people know I was called a suspect than know I was the one who found the package," and headlines like these bear that out. They speak more to his status as suspect, and not the lives he saved that day.

Only one headline I saw, (New York Times) got it right:

Richard Jewell, 44, Hero of Atlanta Attack, Dies

When he died, Richard Jewell was Meriwether County sheriff’s deputy, and is survived by his wife and by his mother.

30 October 2007

Comet Holmes!

    When beggars die there are no comets seen;
    The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes.
      William Shakespeare

Comet Holmes unexpectedly brightened last week, but I've only just heard about it. Thanks to Heavens Above, I was able to locate it. To the naked eye, it appears as a slightly fuzzy star in the constellation Perseus.

Cosmic messages

    Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people.
      Dr. Carl Sagan

This week's Radio Lab episode was a rebroadcast of a 2006 episode. The topic is space.

It includes a segment about the famous Golden Records placed aboard the Voyager spacecraft. I features an interview with Ann Druyan, who helped create the record and married Carl Sagan soon after the Voyager probes launched. Their love story alone is worth hearing.

The episode uses the record to ask the question, "What would you send into space?" Composer Phillip Glass gives his answer in the episode, but they also asked chef Alice Waters, author Neil Gaiman, comedian Margaret Cho, and author Michael Cunningham. You can listen to these online via links on the Space episode page. (Unfortunately, you Real Player for the clips.)

If I had to construct a message for extraterrestrials that explains the human race, I'm not sure what I would send. These days we can probably send a Gold DVD with a lot more information on it.

I would likely choose some of the same sounds on the record: children laughing, babies, voices in different languages. They couldn't manage motion pictures on Voyager, but if I could, there would be time-lapse movies flower growing, trees budding, and something decomposing. 360-degree panoramas would be nice, from places like NYC, the Sahara desert, and the Amazon rain forest. As for books an poetry, I'm at a loss to choose authors. Shakespeare, Homer, and Steinbeck come to mind. Seeing Homer makes me think the Simpsons should be on there. And there should be Pink Floyd music on there somewhere....

What would you send?

29 October 2007

Do you like corn?

    And He Who Walks Behind the Rows did say, "I will send outlanders among you...."
      Children of the Corn

Outlanders are welcome to "walk behind the rows" at Howell Living History Farm's 11th annual Corn Maze, but you'll need to get there soon. The final three days are 11/3, 11/4, and 11/10.

I went looking for an aerial shot of a past maze. Google and MapQuest imagery is from the wrong time of year, but Microsoft Virtual Earth has a great shot of last year's windmill maze.

We were there two weeks ago, and we had a great time. We also set a new family record of 1 1/2 hours! Beat that!

Update: I was wrong. Our maze time was 1:05, not 1:30. Sorry to have sold my family short!

26 October 2007

The Lord of the Rings Soundtracks


    I am going to blow the horn of Rohan, and give them all some music they have never heard before.

      Merry
      The Return of the King
      by J.R.R. Tolkien

I've been saying for years that I wanted to get the soundtracks to the Lord of the Rings films. I finally borrowed the first two from the library. I'm not an expert on classical music or film scores, but I think Howard Shores compositions stand as great works in their own right. I haven't stopped listening to them.

The soundtrack to The Fellowship of the Ring won the Original Score Oscar. I remember a 2002 NPR segment calling Shore the "dark horse" nominee, in part because he was up against not one but two works of Oscar juggernaut John Williams (Jaws, Star Wars), including the Harry Potter score. The Two Towers was overlooked entirely, robbed if you ask me, but The Return of the King won both Original Score and Original Song.

I don't know what I like about this music. I love films, that's definitely part of it, but not all of it. It certainly has great themes stick in your head. The Rohan theme, usually played on a violin, and the Hobbit theme, often on recorder, are examples. There is also the main theme you hear during those sweeping panoramic shots of the Fellowship heading south. There are also haunting elements that capture mystery of the elves and the melancholy of Frodo's self-sacrifice so well.

I guess what I'm saying is that the music conveys the emotions of the story so well, even on its own. That is what has me hooked on them. I don't know where you stand on film scores, but you should give these a listen (if you haven't already).

24 October 2007

Seven clues that Dumbledore was gay


    You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts... but you cannot deny he's got style.
      Phineas Nigellus Black
      Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

From the L.A. Times comes the best analysis of the Dumbledore revelation. Apparently all the clues were there.

I like #2 best.

23 October 2007

Radio Lab

    A scientist in his laboratory is not a mere technician: he is also a child confronting natural phenomena that impress him as though they were fairy tales.
      Marie Curie

That's not a bad description of the approach taken by the WNYC show Radio Lab. Each show explores a broad topic like morality, time, music, or even zoos by interviewing exports and telling stories. They're really interesting, informative, and fun.

All shows are available online and podcasted. Check it out!

22 October 2007

Celery and all!

    I'm definitely not the man I was... thank goodness!
      The Doctor

Rob reports that one of my favorite Doctors (and his celery) will be back!



Advertising Unitarian Universalism

    Stephen Colbert: So do you celebrate Christmas of Chanuka?
    Bobby (a Unitarian): Sure.
      The Colbert Report

A Unitarian Universalist "elevator pitch" was subject of recent thread on my church's e-mail list. It speaks to the difficulty UUs have in explaining their religion, as illustrated about halfway through this segment of The Colbert Report. But a new national ad campaign could change that:

Not bad for a 30 second pitch. It's part of an ad campaign that includes these ads in Time and a 10 minute video available on DVD and online.

Slacker

    Andrew, you are completely slacking off.
      (Source: You know who you are)

Yes, it's been twenty-one days since I've posted anything. I will try to remedy this.

02 October 2007

In the future

    Exterminate!
      Dalek

In the future, advances in nanotechnology will create tiny robots that fly around my house and kill all those frickin' moths.

We will be unprepared for the long term consequences of this technology.

Eventually they will become a threat to humankind.

It will still be worth it.

28 September 2007

Is Net Radio the Future?

    Transmitter!
    Oh! picking up something good
    Hey, radio head!
    The sound...of a brand-new world.
      Talking Heads

Awhile ago I mentioned that I've been listening to YRock on XPN. I still am, and recently I found something pretty cool. I have a Windows Mobile phone with Internet access. Out of curiosity I the listening YRock, and I was able to play the high speed stream reliably. What's more, it sounded great on the little ear buds that come with the phone. It's like a little Net Radio walkman I can use almost anywhere. This gets me thinking, is Net Radio the real future of radio?

The obvious alternatives are satellite and HD. However neither format's future seems secure. Broadcasters are really pushing HD as the successor to FM. Despite the big push, I think the jury is still way out. As for satellite radio, clearly people are buying it, but Sirius and XM are still losing money. They justify their proposed merger, in part, with the assertion that a satellite radio monopoly is the only way to keep the format alive. That's not a ringing endorsement of the technology.

Net Radio has a lot of pluses. It doesn't lock the consumer into a single provider like satellite does. It's more like traditional FM and HD in that respect, which is would seem to be a plus for broadcasters - they don't need to negotiate with provider holding a monopoly. Unlike FM/HD, they have virtually unlimited range. If you have broadband Internet, you can receive their signal. Therein lies the rub. Net Radio requires broadband access, and most of us need to pay for broadband. It will cost you even more if you want it on a mobile device like a phone.

Nonetheless, the broadband market penetration continues to rise even as the price of bandwidth decreases. Even the price of mobile broadband has gone down, and coverage steadily improves. At this rate, it won't be long before incremental cost mobile broadband will be less than the monthly cost of satellite radio (if not already). Other services like telephone and video are also moving online. There has to be a tipping point where broadband will be like cable TV or even telephone, and everyone will have it. At that point, what chance to other formats have against Net Radio?

No Internet media discussion is complete without mentioning podcasts. Personally, I don't see podcasts as a threat to the live radio format. Podcasting is great for downloading new/talk shows (e.g. Fresh Air, This American Life, Marketplace, etc.) and music shows (e.g. World Cafe or Echoes). It's not a great format to replace on-air or satellite radio, because most people don't want to pre-download that material for later playback and the recording industry would be too fearful. Assuming you can access the online stream, Net Radio is a much better fit.

Satellite radio scares broadcasters because it threatens to render local stations obsolete. Net Radio, however, does the opposite. Radio stations will no longer be bound by the size of their transmitter or the geography of their location. Local stations can reach their listeners even when they're travelling. Of course some stations will probably fail when faced with so many competitors. Still, a wider audience means you can find success by specializing. Niche market stations would become more viable because they can find enough subscribers among a worldwide audience.

This should bode well for broadcasters and listeners alike.

Update: I mistakenly typed XD instead of HD. I've fixed it. Thanks to Rob for spotting my mistake.

11 September 2007

Remembrance

    The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.
      Abraham Lincoln
      The Gettysburg Address

I't funny the things you remember. I was on my way to work. I had to redial my cell phone because the lines were tied up. Every news site was down from traffic overload. There was road work, and I wondered if the flagman knew yet. A co-worker was reporting every rumor he heard in some chat room. All these little snippets of time so insignificant in comparison to the events that unfolded.

One of the more vivid memories I have is a co-worker's reaction when the first tower fell. He's a firefighter and EMT, and he was visibly stunned. He said something about the number of rescue personel in that building. I don't remember what I said, if anything, nor how long I stood there.

I didn't know if I should even put up post for 9/11. There is little I can say that has not been said, and few if any who will take note. Still, I think it's important to remember that day for what it really was, not the hollow catch-phrase our leaders have made of it. To that end, I guess there is value in even the smallest story, so here it is.

10 September 2007

Shortest DMV Visit Ever

    Contrary to what you may have heard, the Internet does not operate at the speed of light; it operates at the speed of the DMV.
      Dave Barry

I guess that means the Somerville office must be the DMV* equivalent of broadband, because I renewed my registration in minutes. I waited barely a minute in the receptionist line and was given the necessary form highlighted to show exactly what I should fill in. There was no line at the counter where I handed in the form, and it was processed in less time than it took me to fill it out. I could not believe how fast it was. Somerville rules!

*In the interest of accuracy, it's not actually the DMV. It's the MVC (Motor Vehicle Comission).

05 September 2007

Bourdainalyzing Top Chef

    First rule of Chef's Club is:
    Shit Happens.
      Anthony Bourdain

I think I've blogged about all of Bourdain's blog posts on Bravo. It's hard not to, and this week's was the perfect analysis of an untimely departure. One of the top contenders crashed and burned in a really big way. No doubt there is plenty of viewer anger, but Bourdain provides a compelling defense of the decision. He also serves up his usual scathing critiques of the various cheftestents.

So this is the level I've descended to: blogging about reality TV. Actually, blogging about reality TV bloggers. Top Chef and astronomy. Is that all I'm good for? We'll see....

23 August 2007

Close to Mars

    I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
      Stephen Wright

In the time it took to read that quote, we all moved about 25 miles closer to Mars. That's according to NASA calculations and this article from Space.com. Mars and Earth are closing the gap between them at a rate of 22,000 mph.

By December, Mars will outshine every star in the sky. It will not, of course, be anywhere near the size of the moon, regardless of chain mail that suggests otherwise. Even at its brightest Mars is still a dot of light to the naked eye.

However, it will be very accessible to backyard astronomers. A good pair of binoculars or an amateur telescope will let you see it's disk shape and maybe even some surface details. During its last approach, I was able to spot one of the polar ice caps. I'll be out again this time around.

If you have a telescope you haven't used yet (you know who you are), this is a great time to try it out.

22 August 2007

Sky coming Google Earth

    A galaxy is composed of gas and dust and stars - billions upon billions of stars.
      Carl Sagan

Google Earth is adding a new feature that will allow users to see the heavens. If this new feature, called Sky, is any bit as cool as Google Earth, it will be awesome. I can't wait. The story here.

15 August 2007

Who let the Macarena in the house?

    Girls just want to have fun.
      Cyndi Lauper

I was making dinner last night, and the children put on some music. Not only was it Cyndi Lauper, but my oldest was singing along. She knew all the words. This was a surprise for me, since I didn't know we even owned anything by Cyndi Lauper*.

Turns out this was a mix-CD someone gave us, a collection of "slumber party songs," or something like that. Mostly it's what you'd expect. Glora Estefan's "Conga" and "The Rhythm is Gonna Get You," for example, and "Walkin' on Sunshine" (not the Katrina and the Waves version, unfortunately**). There were some hip selections, like REM's "Stand," and a few unexpected choices, most notably the Frankie Goes to Hollywood standard, "Relax" (maybe it's the song's inclusion in Body Double, but I just never saw this a slumber party material).

Then there was the song I knew must be coming but hoped against. Even with the tell-tale opening riff, there was the faint hope that this would be a parody version or maybe the one from Sesame Street. Alas, no, it was Los del Río's original "Macarena." Luckily it was not the Bayside Boys remix with added English lyrics. My kids don't need to sing along with her cheating on her boyfriend because he was "out of town and his two friends were sooo fine." No thanks.

Wow, don't I sound like the grumpy parent? "Don't want my child listening to that music! Stuff kids listen to these days!" Oh well. Some things can't be helped.

For the record, I didn't make them turn it off or even down. Even when the Rednex dance remix of "Cotton Eyed Joe" came on, though an ice pick in the forehead was sounding pretty good right about then....

*For the record, I don't have anything against her. "True Colors" and "Time After Time" are great songs that I enjoy listening to - just not enough to go out and buy them.

**I always liked this song. There, I've said it.

14 August 2007

Lies and really big fonts

    A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
      Mark Twain

I got one of those e-mails today. You know the ones. The text of the message indented several levels due to incessant forwarding. "FW:" prefaces the subject which, in this instance, is "9/11." You can tell where this is going immediately. It starts out subtly:

It was 1987! At a lecture the other day they were playing an old news video of Lt.Col. Oliver North testifying at the Iran-Contra hearings during the Reagan Administration.

There was Ollie in front of God and country getting the third degree, but what he said was stunning.

DUN DUUNN!! Prepare to awestruck! I'm surprised it didn't say "There was poor Ollie...," but score points for getting "Got and country" in their early. It's important to set the tone. I am reproducing most of the original format of centered italics, but I'll skip the 18 pt. Arial. I think they showed admirable restraint in avoiding bold and underlined. It continues:

He was being drilled by a senator; "Did you not recently spend close to $60,000 for a home security system?"

Ollie replied, "Yes, I did, Sir."

The senator continued, trying to get a laugh out of the audience, "Isn't that just a little excessive?"

"No, sir," continued Ollie.

"No? And why not?" the senator asked.

"Because the lives of my family and I were threatened, sir."

"Threatened? By whom?" the senator questioned.

"By a terrorist, sir" Ollie answered.

"Terrorist? What terrorist could possibly scare you that much?"

Chuckle. What terrorist, indeed? Okay, you know what the answer is going to be. Hung's trained monkey knows what the answer is going to be. The sender, however, wants to make sure you understand that this is big revelation, so they pull out all the stops and reveal in 27 pt.:

"His name is Osama bin Laden, sir" Ollie replied.

Oh. My. God. Are you dumbstruck? Well wait, there's more. After such an earth shattering revelation, you need a little comic relief:

At this point the senator tried to repeat the name, but couldn't pronounce it, which most people back then probably couldn't. A couple of people laughed at the attempt. Then the senator continued. Why are you so afraid of this man?" the senator asked.

"Because, sir, he is the most evil person alive that I know of", Ollie answered.

Hehe. That dumb senator couldn't even pronounce the name. Funny stuff. Heck, most people couldn't pronounce it back then. It's such a tongue twister. Say it three times fast. See how hard that is? But now, the tone becomes grave again. In an interesting stylistic departure, the author chooses this moment to switch Comic Sans MS, but those trusty italics are not abandoned.

"And what do you recommend we do about him?" asked the senator.

"Well, sir, if it was up to me, I would recommend that an assassin team be formed to eliminate him and his men from the face of the earth."

The senator disagreed with this approach, and that was all that was shown of the clip.

Okay, did you get that? Oliver North wanted to assassinate Osama bin Laden in 1987, and was ridiculed for it by the senator questioning him at the time. Hmmm. I wonder if the senator was a democrat or republican.... Well, have no fear, that question will be answered:

By the way, that senator was Al Gore!

Al Gore, ladies and gentlemen! To drive this point home, the color changes to maroon. (I use maroon Comic Sans MS for e-mail - don't know that says about me.) For good measure, Al Gore's name is in 27 pt. I guess that's because it's also hard to pronounce. So there it is: Gore laughed away the threat of bin Laden back in 1987.

I probably don't have to tell you that this is all a load of crap, and Snopes explains in detail how completely false it is. Still, one fabrication just isn't enough for our sender. Hot on the heals of the Al Gore bombshell, we get more:

Terrorist pilot Mohammad Atta blew up a bus in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to agree to release so-called "political prisoners."

However, the Israelis would not release any with blood on their
hands. The American President at the time, Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State, Warren Christopher, "insisted" that all prisoners be released.

Thus Mohammad Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into Tower One of the World Trade Center.

Here we go. More centered italics. More 18 and 27 pt. fonts. More democrats turning a blind eye to terrorists. I like the little, "Thus..." part at the end. Almost biblical. One would wonder why such a bombshell would go unnoticed. Don't you worry. All the answers are right here:

This was reported by many of the American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first identified.

It was censored in the US from all later reports.

If you agree that the American public should be made aware of this fact, pass this on.

There it is. The cover-up. The conspiracy. The information you were not meant to know. It's 27 pt. It's maroon. It's italicised. It's bold. It's underlined.

And it's still bullshit. No matter which font you use.

Why the big post? It's not like this is the first e-mail like this I've seen. It's clearly fake, and Snopes is full of similar fabrications. Yet as laughable as it is to me, it wasn't forwarded as a joke. It was forwarded by someone who thinks it's true and sought to tell others. It's bad enough when someone cooks up this garbage, but it's even worse when people receive it with no critical scrutiny whatsoever.

And there's one more thing. Besides scaling down the fonts, I left off the pictures. We've all seen photos of the planes striking and the towers collapsing. I didn't need them here. But I will include this one, from the end of the message:

There's the final insult. The memory of those lost with symbols of peace and love invoked in service of some little jerk's political slimefest.

09 August 2007

Bravo Bourdain

    Colicchio, leave the Bourdaining to the master.
      Stephanie Vander Weide
      a.k.a. Keckler

Bravo decided Bourdain's stand-in blogging for Colicchio was so good, he needed a blog of his own. The combination of his blog and Keckler's TVwoP recaps might be better than the show itself.

No party

    It's going to be a trap. It's not going to be a party... at all. It‘s never a fucking party.
      Jeffrey Sebelia
      Project Runway Season 3 winner

Comments to my last Top Chef post included Rob's opinion that Top Chef is more civilized than Hell's Kitchen. That may be, but last night they were pretty damned evil. The cheftestants are told they'll be getting a night out at a hot Miami club. They spend time getting dressed up, then hop in the awaiting limo that takes them to... an elimination challenge. Cook outside in catering wagons, and serve food to clubgoers after closing time.

Had they Jeffrey Sebelia's wisdom, they'd have known this was coming. As it is, they are stunned. What's worse, in a move reminiscent of POW camp mind games, the Quickfire winner is whisked away in the limo for a one-on-one dinner with guest judge Govind Armstrong at one of his restaurants. Even the nicest of those remaining confess hatred of their fellow cheftestant for this lucky break.

Ah well, what did they expect? After all, it's reality TV. It's never a party.

04 August 2007

Senate caves to Bush. Again.

    One thing I have learned in my time in politics is that if one of the parties is shameless, the other party cannot afford to be spineless.
      Sen. Frank Lautenberg*

What the hell? Recent Senate hearings sought to determine whether the Bush administration strong-armed then Attorney General Ashcroft into authorizing illegal domestic surveilance. One would think they didn't like Bush/Cheney spying on Americans.

So, when Bush demands they vote to expand his powers before going on vacation, what do they do? They give him exactly what he demanded. Wow. That's showing them. You really dealt a decisive blow with that one. Geez!

* Because the vote was last night, it looks like we won't know the roll-call until Monday. I've heard that Lautenberg and Menendez both voted against, but nothing official.
UPDATE: Lautenberg and Menendez both voted Nay.

02 August 2007

On the White Stripes bandwagon

    Everyone knows about it
    From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell
      The White Stripes

Okay, I know I'm arriving late for this party. The White Stripes grammy-winning album Elephant came out in 2003, and I've only just gotten it. Unfortunately, most music I purchase these days is new material by artists already in my collection. That can get kind of stale, so I do try to branch out.

I told Sharon a while back that I've thought about getting something by the White Stripes - I always the songs I hear by them. She oblidged by giving me Elephant and Get Behind Me Satan for my birthday. I totally dig both of them. It's a good thing I have them at work because Sharon would be getting sick of them right about now. That's how much I've been playing them. I am bopping my head at this moment to the "My Doorbell." I see more White Stripes purchases in my future.

Oh yeah, I looked up the video for "The Hardest Button to Button" and now I get the reference in this Simpsons clip:

26 July 2007

Bourdain in for Colicchio

    The ability to make a brilliant, creatively-dazzling and delicious plate of food is near worthless if you can’t do it again and again--exactly the same way--at high speed, under the gun, hung over, after a night of fierce Negroni drinking...while listening to Mexican thrash metal.
      Anthony Bourdain

Anthony Bourdain is guest blogging for on Tom Colicchio's "Top Chef" blog. There are two posts so far. Classic Bourdain, but you'll probably need to have seen the show for context.

P.S. I have to admit, I didn't know what a Negroni was before I looked it up.

21 July 2007

Impromptu summer sky tour

    The moving moon went up the sky,
    And nowhere did abide:
    Softly she was going up,
    And a star or two beside.
      Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Yesterday evening was absolutely perfect night for observing the sky. It was cool, dry, and, but for a few wisps of cloud, crystal clear. The sun was barely below the horizen when Venus was out, low in the western sky. The moon was higher in the west, half full. Jupiter was high in southern sky.

I got out the telescope and the whole family spent the next hour looking at everything. We started with Venus, now down to a thin crecent. Normally one associates that shape with the moon, and we had to remind my youngest that this was a crescent Venus.

Next we turn to Jupiter. I wasn't sure the bright object was Jupiter until I looked in the eyepiece. There is no mistaking Jupiter. You can see the stripes if the cloud bands, and the four pinpricks of light that are the Galilean moons.

We moved on to our own moon. This brought wows form the children. The moon more than filled the eyepiece, and we scanned the edge of the shadow where the surface features were in strongest relief.

Finally, so as not to limit our sky tour to the solar system, we aimed the telescope at Mizar, the second star from the end in the Big Dipper's handle. Mizar is actually a binary star - through the telescope you can clearly see that is made up of two stars very close to one another. It is probably the easiest binary star to observe.

It's been too long since we had the telescope out. We need to do this more often.

19 July 2007

To catch Bill O'Reilly

    Every once in awhile he becomes transcendent, perfectly merging the creepy with the unintentionally self-revelatory and the utterly hilarious.
      Keith Olbermann

When Bill O'Reilly interviewed Miss New Jersey Amy Polumbo, he really wanted to know what the blackmail photos were like. Joel McHale's The Soup on E! first featured this clip, but here is Keith Olbermann's take (with obligatory shout-out to McHale).

One more Olbermann quote, from his "Worst Person in the World" for July 19:

His stupidity is effervescent. It glows. It fairly undulates and
vibrates. I'll stop now. I'm getting Bill-O exited.

Guess who won.

16 July 2007

Venus making an exit

    If you gotta go, go with a smile.
      The Joker
      Batman

    This past Friday, my youngest daughter and I sat on the deck watching the stars come out. The first thing we saw, of course, was Venus. The "Evening Star" is shining its brightest right now, with a magnitude of -4.5. My daughter's eyes are better than mine, so she spotted the first actual star - Sirius. The "Dog Star" is the brightest star in the sky, but it couldn't compete with Venus. We looked at Venus through binoculars, and spotted Regulus just above it.

    Venus is about to make a dramatic exit from the evening sky. Tonight it will be close to the moon and Saturn. I hope it's clear. Then each day, as it lowers in the western sky, it will become an upturned crescent. It will leave with a smile.

    P.S. This was a welcome bright spot in an otherwise awful weekend. Here's why....

    12 July 2007

    Eastern Organic - One year later

      Look what's going on inside you
      Ooooh that smell
        Lynyrd Skynyrd

    Over a year ago I began following the story of Eastern Organic Resources' Woodhue facility in Wrightstown. The company seeking regulatory permission a composting facility that recycled organic waste to produce soil and fuel a methane powered generation plan. To me, this sounded like a great idea. How could you not love a company whose business combined recycling and renewable energy?

    If you've read the lead-in quote, you can guess the answer: that smell. Composting smells bad, and Eastern Organic found themselves in constant struggle with the local government and NJ DEP over air quality. Ironically, the project they sought approval for (the methane generation) could have alleviated the air quality. To collect the methane, they needed to enclose the composter, which would have eliminated most of the odor problem. (I covered most of this my first post).

    Unfortunately, they couldn't work things out. Last July I posted that the DEP had begun proceedings to shut down the facility. I didn't hear much after that. Every now and then I'll google Eastern Organic Resources, finding nothing new.

    Looks like I missed this story in June, though. The full article isn't available for free, but the snippet suggests someone may be interested in buying the company. I guess that means they're still operating. They still have a web site, but it's not clear how current it is. I'll have to keep an eye out and see.

    11 July 2007

    Blenderific!

      Me: They're not. No way
      Friend: Way. Way way.

    A friend sent a link to this:

    There is a "Will it Blend" website with many more videos, including one with a can of EZ Cheese. The site was created by Blendtec to show off their blender. Now that's advertising!

    10 July 2007

    More lies

      Your tongue should be embarrassed, you're a threat to mankind.
        L.L. Cool J
        "That's A Lie"

    Six days after receiving a report that FBI agents obtained personal information they were not entitled to have, Alberto Gonzales assured the Senate intelligence committee that the FBI had not abused its Patriot act powers. It wasn't the first report either - it was one of maybe half a dozen such he received in the three months preceding his testimony. I predict neither shock nor outrage at this revelation because no one will be the least bit surprised.

    Check out the full story.

    07 July 2007

    Net radio in danger

      Lights out guerilla Radio
      Turn that shit up
      It has to start somewhere
      It has to start sometime
      What better place than here
      What better time than now
        Rage Against the Machine

    I've started listenning to YRock on XPN at work. Whenever you first launch the stream, you get a message encouraging you to visit SaveNetRadio.org. Here's the deal: the Copyright Royalty Board (CRB), which oversees sound recording royalties paid by Internet radio services, increased Internet radio's royalty burden by 300 to 1200. Most Internet radio stations won't be able to afford this and will either go offline, or be forced into deals with record companies giving them control of programming content. Particularly unfair is that Internet radio royalties are already twice that of sattelite radio.

    I have to admit, I was totally oblivious to this issue until now. I even missed the day of silence when all Internet radio stations went intentionally dark. *Rob did put up a post about this issue as it pertains to podsafe music. Check it out.

    Also, check out SaveNetRadio to learn more.

    06 July 2007

    Shivved

      We enveloped our President in 2001. And those who did not believe he should have been elected—indeed those who did not believe he had been elected—willingly lowered their voices and assented to the sacred oath of non-partisanship.

      And George W. Bush took our assent, and re-configured it, and honed it, and shaped it to a razor-sharp point and stabbed this nation in the back with it.
        Keith Olbermann

    Sharon and Rob both posted this. Still, I wanted to highlight this quote that so accurately and succinctly illustrates what this administration has done to the American people.

    Meat Cake!

      Kick ass!
        Eric Cartman

    Sharon's Food Blog posted a link to the Television Without Pity recaps of Top Chef.* Yesterday I was there reading the recap of Season 3 Episode 3. Meatloaf played an important role in the episode, and Keckler included a most wonderful link in her recap. What link?

    Two words: MEAT CAKE. Check it out.

    * BTW, I take credit (or responsibility) for sending her there.

    03 July 2007

    Advair has some competition

      We know that Symbicort delivers improved control as soon as the first day of use. And it has a fairly rapid onset of action, within 15 minutes. We believe that will be a point of differentiation for us.
        Tony Zook, president and chief executive of AstraZeneca

    It's been over a year since I've wrote this post about Advair and a sensationalist article about it in Forbes magazine, and I am still getting comments. It's possibly my most visited post ever. Most comments are from people like me, who found Advair to be almost life-changing, our Asthma under control for the first time ever. Some comments focused on issues with the Serevent component of Advair, and there are some good points to consider there. Read the post and comments for the details.

    Anyway, I decided today to see what came up in Google News about Advair, and it looks like AstraZeneca's bringing in some competition. They are about to release Symbicort which, like Advair, contains corticosteroid and a long-acting beta agonist. It will be tough to compete with Advair, though, especially since Symbicort is only approved for adults with asthma, while Advair is also approved for children with asthma and adults with CPOD.

    Judging by the quote I've included at top, AstraZeneca may try to highlight the speed with which their beta agonist takes effect. This is a concern, since neither Advair nor Symbicort is meant for acute asthma attacks. That's what rescue inhalers like albuterol are for. This type of marketing could lead to a lot of confusion and health risks.

    Anyway, we'll see how it goes. Here's the WSJ article about Symbicort. Happy breathing.

    Do you have what it takes to become a citizen?

      Hey, do you know about the U.S.A.?
      Do you know about the government?
      Can you tell me about the Constitution?
      Hey, learn about the U.S.A.
        Schoolhouse Rock
        "Preamble"

    MSNBC has a July 4th Special Quiz with selected questions from the civics test given to prospective citizens. The quiz is supposed to have some of the more difficult questions, but the multiple choice format makes it easier, especially given some of the incorrect choices they offer.

    See how you do. I scored 95%, as I didn't know the INS form is used to apply for citizenship.

    08 June 2007

    What fore?

      For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
        Dave Barry

    It's over a week ago now, as I was on vacation in New Hampshire (more on that, maybe later). Still, I figured I throw out my this little story of a rare event that happens now and then: me playing golf. My company has an annual customer shmooze-fest of a golf outing at an exclusive golf club in northwest NJ. Every now and then I get to go, usually because there's a customer I've been working with who's playing.

    So this year I was out again, on a beautiful day in June, golfing. Or, at least something that remotely resembles golfing. I am not good. When I signed up for the outing, I was asked for my handicap. I have no idea what it is, but I'll bet it's a big number.

    I do own clubs (the cheapest used clubs eBay had to offer), and a pair golf shoes, so I was marginally equipped. I managed to run afoul of the country club dress code because my shorts have pockets on the sides (e.g. cargo shorts). Mind you even shorts are a recent concession of the country club's owners. Luckily I ran into someone with a company card in the pro-shop, so I was able to score a free pair of compliant shorts.

    I have to admit I had a lot of fun. Maybe it's the Scot in me. It helped that the game was low-key. The format of the tournament was a "scramble" where the foursome plays as one and uses the best shot from the team on each leg. I played with an easy-going group willing to offer helpful tips that actually improved my game. By the end, I managed to contribute a few good shots.

    I'd prefer a course less saturated with lawn chemicals (after all, they didn't need them when the game was created). And is denim really so awful? I guess a private club means lots Judge Smails types (and there were plenty). You probably see less of that on public courses. However, I probably won't be playing again until the next company freebie. That, in itself, is a good thing, as golf balls aren't cheap (even the bottom-of-the-barrel ones I bought at Target), and I lost plenty of them....

    06 June 2007

    Gotta post something...

      Before this is over the Vice President may start going door to door asking if anyone wants to hear his story.
        Keith Olbermann

    Okay, if I want to stay out of Rob's crypt, I better post something. You can't go wrong with Olmermann's Worst Person in the World, and yesterday's was no exception, with runner-up Dick Cheney still, still beating the Iraq - al-Qaida link.

    And yes, I got the 8 thinge meme going around, and yes, I'll get to it at some point.

    18 May 2007

    Rediscovered: Black Crowes - Shake Your Money Maker

      Clean as a whistle
      Smellin' like a rose
        The Black Crowes
        "Twice as Hard"

    Over a year ago I posted the first of what was to be a series of posts titled "Rediscovered!" These posts would be to highlight music I neglected for a long time that I've recently listened to again, recalling why I liked them so much. So today I am rediscovering the "Rediscovered!" series on my blog. A recent post on Jeri Smith-Ready's blog mentioned The Black Crowes' Shake Your Money Maker, an album I hadn't played in a year or more until last week. What a great album this is.

    The first track is "Twice as Hard," whose openning guitar chords you cannot help but play loud. They set the tone for the entire albumn, informing the listenner that there will be no fancy effects, overdubbing, or digital magic. The guitar and drums are clean and tight, the vocals raw, and the only sound effect you'll find is a car crash at the beginning of "Thick and Thin."

    The heart and soul of Shake Your Money Maker are the guitar/vocal combination of brothers Rich and Chris Robinson. The percussion is firm and precise - never over the top - and really comes through on songs like "Jealous Again" and their cover of the Otis Redding's "Hard to Handle." Piano and organ riffs add some extra depth on tracks like "Sister Luck" and the stand-out "She Talks to Angels."

    My last rediscovered album was a collection of b-sides and outtakes, and it maybe wasn't such a surprise that it sank below my RADAR and gathered some dust. Shake Your Money Maker is none of that, and I don't know why I left it alone so long.

    17 May 2007

    The sin of time-out

      But in the town it was well known
      When they got home at night, their fat
      And psychopathic wives would thrash them
      Within inches of their lives
        Pink Floyd

    I heard about this from a friend of mine. It's a news story about a church California instructing parents that spanking is God's will. Here are the actual instructions on the church's web site.

    Basically, spanking is the only child discipline method created God. Not just any spanking will do, either. You need to use the rod, "flexible stick like a switch." The instructions note that you should never use your hand, a belt, a brush, a cord, or 2x4 (yes, that's on the list of "don't spank with" items). If you "withhold the rod" by, say, putting your child in time-out or speaking to them, you've sinned.

    This bothers me on so many levels that it's hard to decide what to say. Here are a few thoughts:

    It tells me I'm wrong or sinful because I don't beat my kids, and that I'm ruining them by withholding this punishment. Quotes from the Churh's paster take the rhetoric one step further. "We disagree with time-outs as a family," he says. "That's an attack on spanking." Here he's taking a page from the same-sex marriage debate. Not only is time-out wrong, but it's an attack. By framing the discussion in these terms, he suggests that we are out to get him and the other true believers.

    Then there's there's the all to familiar tenant that the bible is the literal and infallible word of God. That's a popular sentiment, and it works great in these instructions. But I'm left wondering how he handles some of the stuff in Leviticus. I'll wager he's on board with killing men who sleep together, but what about eating pork and shellfish? I'll bet those passages don't come up much in these little discussions. Much better to go with the crowd favorites like denying evolution and climate change. In essence, it's simply cherry-picking pasages with little context. It's not just what you think any more, now you can say it's the word of God.

    One final thought: in the face of literal interpretation of the Bible, I Googled "bible contradictions" and got plenty of results. I only checked out the first few results, all similar lists of verses that contradict one another in varying degrees. These lists reinforce my opinion that the bible is a mixed bag of ideas with varying degrees of merit. It strikes me that one can find within its pages justification for all manner acts both good and evil.

    24 April 2007

    Click click click...

      Don't care how
      I want it now
        Veruca Salt
        Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

    So, are you a multiple clicker? If you're on a web page, do you start clicking a link over and over if it doesn't come up immediately on the first click? Do you engage in the online equivalent of pressing the elevator call button over and over, even though it's already lit? Just curious....

    I encounter users like this now and then, usually when there is a problem in a program I wrote. I'm with the user trying to figure it out, and they just start clicking over and over. It's surprisingly frustrating. Here's my poor little program, struggling to do what's asked of it. Each click just adds to the load. I'm watching what's going on, maybe starting to see clues, tracing the path of the bullet if you will. Then "click click click click click" comes the virtual shotgun blast. Everything collapses and all clues are long gone.

    Of course, my program should be able to handle it, and I've certainly done something wrong that needs to be fixed. That's probably why all those clicks infuriate me. They serve to further highlight the inadequacies of my creation. It's not like I don't do it, either. I've clicked away in frustration, fully aware that it does no good.

    Anyway, I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I was on a WebEx the other day, and the person driving the mouse kept doing it. I was reminded how much it bugs me, and figured it was something I could post. So there it is.

    19 April 2007

    Priorities

      A vote is like a rifle; its usefulness depends upon the character of the user.
        Theodore Roosevelt

    When I look at some people's priorities, I really start to wonder if we're not all just doomed.

    The Center of NJ Life reported today on the abysmal turnout for school budget elections yesterday. Unfortunately, this is par for the course. As for the results, where do I start?

    In 2005 I voiced my support of every person who votes, regardless of how they voted. I still hold to that sentiment. I applaud everyone who voted, really I do, but, they're not making it easy.

    Yesterday voters in Hightstown and East Windsor voted down a budget item that would have hired some additional teachers for educational programs that would go beyond the core curriculum mandated by law. However, they voted to keep funding courtesy transportation - busing that goes beyond what is mandated by law.

    More transportation. Less education. That's our priority.

    18 April 2007

    What was that?

      Sultan: What about the virgins?
      Horatio Jackson: Sultan, forget about the virgins! We're out of virgins!
        The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

    What made me think of this was a conference call I was on today, where I said the following:

    So the first thing we need to do is solve the virgin entry problem.

    I'll let y'all know when we figure that one out....

    18 March 2007

    This is my wife...

      They're pissin' me off. Friggin' wolves. Should've known better than to adopt wolves.
        Sharon

    This is my wife on Zoo Tycoon.

    I guess I know which animal spirit she's not.

    Teach my children how?

      Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.
        Bill Cosby

    Friday morning I was checking to make sure my oldest had her homework folder. I found the cover of her spelling workbook was crumpled and torn. When I asked her what happened, she told me it got that way in her desk. I understood precisely, and imediately I had a vision of those little grammer school desks stuffed with a mess of papers, pencils, and who knows what else, all in complete disarray.

    You can probably guess that the desk I envisioned was not my daughter's, but my own desk in grammar school. I couldn't tell you which grade precisely because my desk always looked that way. So did my locker. So, for that matter, does my desk at work now.

    You could call this a manifestation the parent's curse Bill Cosby refers to in the classic Himself - we are cursed by parents who wish our children will be just like us. I think it's also something we all privately wish for anyway - a sin of vanity we can't avoid but will come back to haunt us. Either way, we're doomed to see in our children not only our best qualities, but our worst. It's the latter that gets you.

    I feel like trying to convice her to be more organized, more outgoing, less nit-picky, or maybe a little neater is an exercise in futility. Nothing parents, teachers, peers, or complete strangers did rid me of these bad habits. Nearly forty (ack!) years later, I still haven't shaken off such tendencies. My garage workbench is still a disaster, my holiday shopping is still last-minute, letting go of an argument is like severing a limb, and I'm still hanging out in the corner of the crowd trying not to make eye contact.

    I guess, like everything else with parenting, I shouldn't worry too much. These are the things that make us human, me and her. She's a great kid, they both are, and nothing compares to the joy they bring. A messy desk is a small price to pay for that.

    09 March 2007

    DST Dumb-asses

      I oppose the bill for two reasons. First, it contains a number of highly objectionable provisions. Second, it simply ignores several of our most pressing energy challenges, such as our dependence on foreign oil.
        Senator Hillary Clinton
        regarding the Energy Policy Act of 2005

    Par for course from the do nothing Congress of years past. Highly objectionable? Let me just say that I have found this Daylight Savings Time change extremely questionable. What a bonehead maneuver that was. What, Y2K was too boring? No major glitches? We needed to create a new issue? It's even got its own acronym: Y2K7. What a bunch of knuckleheads.

    After spending several hours patching all our servers last night, I'm willing to vote for Hillary solely on the basis of her opposition to this bill.

    08 March 2007

    Death by Conference Call

      To mute your line, press star-6...
        Automated conference call voice

    Lately it feels like that's the most useful think I've heard on a conference call. I am on more conference calls these days. I'm starting to feel like my phone headset has become some psychic vacuum sucking my productivity away. It's like the bridge line is some malevolent entity that feeds on my life force. I hang up from these calls feeling drained. I look at the clock and wonder where the last ninety minutes of my life just went.

    "After the tone, please state your name."

    "*BEEP*"

    "Please, kill me now."

    "'Please, kill me now.' has joined the conference."

    05 March 2007

    On Road House and the Guilty Pleasure of Bad Cinema

      It may be the most peculiar recent movie ever except for "Road House," but then what can you say about "Road House"? Such movies defy all categories.
        Roger Ebert
        reviewing Black Snake Moan

    Roger Ebert has been keeping to a light schedule, so it has lately been an unexpected treat when I find he's reviewed something. This week, he gave three stars to Black Snake Moan, a recent addition to my we-should-go-see-that-but-who-am-I-kidding-we'll-never-get-a-chance-until-it-comes-out-on-DVD list. I was glad to hear he liked the film, espeically Samuel L. Jackson's performance.

    I was a little surprised, however, at the comparison to Road House. I wondered for a moment if Roger Ebert actually thought it was a good movie. He did not, of course, choosing to sum it up in this way:

    Road House exists right on the edge between the "good-bad movie" and the merely bad. I hesitate to recommend it, because so much depends on the ironic vision of the viewer. This is not a good movie.

    That's why I like Roger Ebert. He's not afraid to take joy in bad movies, and his reviews of them are some of my favorites (if you haven't read his review of The Core, you should). On his light schedule, Ebert is probably cherry-picking the better movies to review. I hope that as his health continues to improve, he'll choose to indulge in one of these guilty pleasures, in turn sharing with us all.

    23 February 2007

    When you don't know the answer...

      Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, "What the fuck."
        Miles (Curtis Armstrong)
        Risky Business

    Someone forwarded these to me - the appear to be a collection of funny test answers. I have no idea if their for real, but I got a real kick out of them.

    Clearly each of ehese answers represent a person giving up. This first one just comes out and says as much:

    These next two just went the wacky non-sequiter route:


    Then there's the idea that if you follow the instructions, no matter how you follow them, you must be right.



    I love the found x. Heck, that was easy!
    And finally, like Kirk with the Kobayashi Maru, if don't know the solution, change the problem.


    Well of course. There's an elephant in the way. I'll have to remember that one.

    Release the hounds!

      Along about midnight when it's dark, dark, dark
      There's a long, low whistle and a faraway bark
      And then a high, high whistle only hounds can hear
      To let them know the train, the dog train is near
        "Dog Train"
        performed by Blues Traveller
        lyrics by Sandra Boynton

    We're getting two new hounds! Tomorrow! Woo-hoo!

    (We tried to warn the cats, but I don't think they understood. They will, oh yes, they will.)

    02 February 2007

    Clearly it's Friday

      Monday I have Friday on my mind
        David Bowie

    Okay, no posts in a long time. This is because I've been so busy at work, though the following photo of my trash seems evidence to the contrary:



    In my defense I will only say that the Marlboros, Cokes, and three of the bottles are not from me.

    08 January 2007

    Paging Mr. Murphy

      Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong
        Murphy's Law

    Let me first point out that I have configured and enabled the Microsoft Routing and Remote Access service multiple times. Each time the configuration worked perfectly, on the first try, with no adverse effects to the system or network. Why was I so successful? It had nothing to do with skill or knowledge, I assure you. There was only one reason: I was standing right in front of the server when I did it.

    The most recent time I configured the Microsoft Routing and Remote Access service, the system I was working on was not right in front of me. It was not in a nearby room, not in the same building, not even the same state. It was, in fact, at a hosting provider in St. Louis, Missouri. It was also 8:30 PM on a Sunday night. Oh yeah, did I mention that this was on the database server behind our production web servers.

    Three hours later everthing was fixed, but I'm left pondering the often quoted, more often ignored Murphy's Law. I decided to check out its origins at (where else?) the Murphy's Law Wiki Page. It turns out Murphy's Law is named after Maj. Edward A. Murphy, Jr., an aerospace engineer who worked on experimental rocket sleds in the 1950s. He is rumored to have uttered the adage after a subordinate miswired a bunch of sensors resulting in useless test results.

    There are actually conflicting accounts around this event. Some stories suggest it was really Murphy's fault for poor planning, and that term was a less-than-subtle dig at Murphy. Others suggest that it was just a quip of Murphy's that became the team's way expressing the pragmatic doctrine of always expecting the worst. That is certainly what the expression became as it was popularized by Murphy's friend and next-door neighbor John Paul Stapp.

    Stapp was known as the "fastest man on earth" for his runs on the rocket sled. He was also a collector of expressions and adages, writing them down in a notebook he kept. At a press conference he was asked how such a dangerous program as the rocket sled experiments could have so few injuries. Stapp replied that they always considered Murphy's Law and explained what that meant.

    Which is why I can blame Murphy now, instead of my own carelessness.

    07 December 2006

    The End of Summer

      The summer wind, came blowin in - from across the sea
      It lingered there, so warm and fair - to walk with me
        Summer Wind
        lyrics by Henry Mayer

    You've probably read Sharon's post. Today we lost our greyhound, Summer. Earlier this week she began vomiting. What the vet initially thought was pancreatitis turned out to be acute renal failure. Her kidneys stopped working. We don't know why; they will do tests to see. The answer won't help much, but our neighbors have dogs and sometime maybe so will we. We need to them to be safe.

    When it came time, the vet began to explain the procedure, and we kind of cut him off. We already knew, we told him. We had gone through this only six months ago with her "sister" Toasty. That one came quickly, too. At the time, I remember thinking it may not be too long for Summer. She'd lost a leg to cancer, and there was every chance it would show up in her lungs or elsewhere. When they X-rayed her, it turned out she was clear. We never got a chance to take joy in this news.

    On the drive to the vet, my one hope was that Summer would perk up, just a little, when we arrived. I wanted her to have some last bit of joy or relief. Just before the vet administered the drugs, we got her collar down. This was Sharon's idea; Summer was always overjoyed when the opportunity for a hop came up. It was possibly her favorite part of the day. She did perk up a bit. Her eyes openned wider, and her ears went up. I couldn't see her tail under the blanket, but maybe it thumped a little. I hope so.

    There will be other dogs, and I expect they will be as dear to us as Summer. But there will only be one Summer Storm, and like we always told her, she was a good girl doggie.

    03 December 2006

    Thirty-two days later

      I can have a complete conversation on my own, and you know to stay out of it. You're in your own anyway....
        Sharon

    It has been a long conversation with myself. Here are a few of the things I would have blogged if I wasn't totally lame:

    • 7 November: C'mon baby! C'mon! Daddy needs a new goverment! C'mon!
    • 8 November: Woo-hoo!
    • 9 November: Now what?
    • Details of converting old Christmas tapes to digital format because the cars don't have tape players anymore.
    • A post about a new contractor hired for a project I'm leading at work, and the... um... spirited debates we've been having about how stuff should be built.
    • Several fun podcasts, including "How to Succedd in Evil."
    • A paragraph dancing around the ugly fact that our cats have destroyed the floor in our office. A paragraph describing the 2-3 day project of replacing floor boards and cleaning the carpet. A paragraph (or two) on how I had to replace the door, and the frame, and the sub-floor. A paragraph cursing my home's previous owner and the fact they didn't use caulk.
    • How I put the Pythagorean Theorem to practical use.

    That's all I can come up with for a synopsis. I'm a little foggy right now from all the carpet cleaning chemicals. I will endeavor to post something more substantial soon, perhaps elaborating on the Pythagorean Theorem bit.

    P.S. I'm listenning George Carlin's When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? and I'm wondering if the funniest part is the title. I'm a little dissappointed there.

    01 November 2006

    Hubble Rescue Greenlighted

      Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
        Winston Churchill

    NASA gave the green light to a final Hubble servicing mission!